But you must be wise in the timing of your sharing and with whom you share. Your greatest misery can become your greatest ministry, just like mine did. Protect your healing and recovery journey, especially when you are most vulnerable. Critics and cynics are easier to handle when we know we are supported, surrounded, and loved, when we know that someone’s words, disapproval, or actions will not have the power to take us on an emotional roller coaster, keeping us in turmoil.
There’s a quote I love, though the author is unknown, that says, “Work hard in silence and let your success make the noise.” Deciding to grow in integrity and healing before inviting other voices and eyes into your life is wise. God was working in me and developing credibility in my sobriety over time while I consistently worked at my recovery program every day for a little over two years. I made the decision to keep my situation and process close to my heart and to think and write about it often in the safety of my home with my immediate family, with close friends, in counseling, and at AA for a season, where I could keep my anonymity. What would the church congregation think of me? Would they reject me? Would my family be shamed by the fact that their daughter, wife, sister, mother, aunt, daughter-in-law was a drunk? What would people say or assume about her? While her story is not mine, I felt that same kind of fear she must have felt-fear of what people would say or do. I can imagine her fear and apprehension to share about the baby she carried. I identified with the shame Mary must have felt as a teenager, pregnant, and not by the man to whom she was betrothed. The Bible is rich with stories of people who are dealing with the same things we are. Scripture says she “kept all these things in her heart and thought about them often” (Luke 2:19 NLT). I released myself from all that pressure when she reminded me of how Mary, the mother of Jesus, after the angel told her she would become pregnant by the Holy Spirit and give birth to Jesus, kept things close to her heart until the timing was right to share. Who said it had to be now? It’s okay to honor yourself and work through the fear and shame before even thinking about sharing publicly. She reassured me that I was put- ting unnecessary pressure on myself to share now. I felt pressure to share what I had been through, but the stories I told myself about how I would be rejected, judged, and shamed terrified me into silence. I agonized over people finding out my secret struggle. The pressure I was putting on myself about how and when I was to share my story was self-inflicted torture. She told me it was okay to hold things close for a while, that it was okay to to to share when I felt ready - and not a moment sooner. My new sponsor’s support felt especially helpful as I agonized over publicly sharing my addiction to alcohol. Since support is critical to recovery, finding a safe person to confide in who has been there and done that and who can guide you as you own your recovery process is vital. The onus is on the person in recovery, not the sponsor. A sponsor is simply someone who can hold you accountable to the goals you set for yourself and who can share their own experiences of strength and hope as you process the unknown. Having a sponsor can sometimes be intimidating if you aren’t aware of the importance of having one in recovery. She embodied all the qualities a sponsor should have and encouraged me to work my program. It was as if she was right in front of me, giving me a big hug and telling me, “Honey, everything is going to be okay! I am so proud of you!” She became my safe place and a person I looked up to who had been on the recovery journey for some time and was thriving! She challenged and encouraged me and held me accountable to my growth process, becoming my sponsor, of sorts. When I heard her voice and sheepishly shared that I had just come home from rehab, I sensed her immediate acceptance and loving embrace in her voice through the phone. I took the chance, not knowing what I would say when she answered the phone. He encouraged me to reach out to this woman for support. Three months after I returned home, Jimmy happened upon a Facebook post of a pastor’s wife in Florida who was celebrating several years of sobriety.
0 kommentar(er)
